Football In The South

[BucNut]

Yep, we all know that football is religion down south. This two parter will put a tear in your eye.

Down Here Part 1

Down Here Part 2


The Difference In Football
Between the North and South




WOMEN'S ATTIRE

Up North: Chapstick in their back pocket and a $20 bill in their front pocket.
Down South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, powder, mascara (waterproof), concealer, and a fifth of bourbon. Wallet not necessary, that's what dates are for.


STADIUM SIZE

Up North: College football stadiums hold 20,000.
Down South: High School football stadiums hold 20,000.

CAMPUS DECOR

Up North: Statues of founding fathers.
Down South: Statues of Heisman Trophy winners.

PARKING

Up North: An hour before game time the University opens the campus for game parking.
Down South: RV's sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The real faithful begin arriving on Tuesday.

CONCESSIONS

Up North: Drinks served in a paper cup filled to the top with soda.
Down South: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's mascot--filled less than halfway to ensure enough room for bourbon.

COMMENTARY (MALE)

Up North: "Nice Play."
Down South: "Dammit you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs!!!"


COMMENTARY (FEMALE)

Up North: "My, this is a violent sport."
Down South: "Dammit you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs!!!"

AFTER THE GAME

Up North: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
Down South: Another rack of ribs on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's game.

[BucShot]

And that's what I like about the South!